Get A Life!

Both of my sons are on the varsity football team at Iroquois High School. Although I have supported my kids through baseball, basketball and soccer, there is something different about football. I used to watch my kids play other sports and I always cheered for them. But when it comes to football I live it while they play it. I never played football, but have always been a fan of the game at the high school, college and pro levels. Anne says that I would watch monkeys play football if it were on television. In my house, Friday night, Saturday and Sunday afternoons are about football.



In last week's game, Justyn ran for a touchdown and it was like I was the one who scored. I puffed out my chest and said,"That's my boy!" You would have thought I was the one who taught him how to play. Justyn, who is a junior, plays on every play of the game. He is a running back on offense, a linebacker on defense and he is also the punter and place kicker. He also dates a cheerleader. He is living the life that I never lived, and I am now trying to re-live my youth through him. Nobody ever cheered for me. I was never on Friday Night lights. My name was never in the paper. My other son, Brandon, who is a freshman running back was on television too. He had a touchdown run in the game against Mercyhurst Prep.


I think that we live vicariously through our kids. The word vicarious literally means "from outside ourself." We live the things that we are not able to accomplish on our own, by getting close to someone who is doing it. Believe me, I am not the only one. There are lots of middle aged, frustrated football heroes in the stands masquerading as cheering parents. What I never did in my own high school life I now experience in my forty-something life through my two sons. They run for touchdowns, they get the girls and they have a chance to get elected homecoming king. I never even got close to doing that stuff. But that's alright, my kids are doing it and it feels great. It is a selfish experience in many ways. I should celebrate my kids sports because of how it makes them feel. It shouldn't be about what I wish I could have felt.


A lot of people live vicariously through others. Others times we do the opposite which is hoping to see others fail. We get so bitter and resentful over our own setbacks, failures and shortcomings that we hate to see anybody do well. We are there to rain on their parade and shout out that their accomplishments are no big deal. That's why we like to watch reality television. We love to watch people make a mess out of their lives. It makes us feel that we are better than we really are. We love to see people get kicked off of survivor. We marvel seeing Simon Cowell pan someone who's whole dream of singing has fallen short. Remember The Gong Show? Enough said!


Vicarious living can be a positive thing if we have the right perspective. It is good to live through the successes of others, but that should not stop us from working towards are own. It should also not stop us from taking responsibility and ownership for our shortcomings. The Bible teaches us that we live vicariously through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. On our own, we are failures. We are sinners who cannot face God without receiving punishment for failing to live according to God's laws. We deserve punishment and to be condemned for our sins. God is perfect and cannot be present where sin is, so we have been banished and have no way of relating to God. We are separated by a chasm of sin and separation. We cry out for God but we are in no position to be in his presence. He is pure like snow and we are dirty because of the stain of our sin. The two of us are incompatible. God will not hang out with us in this state. Sounds pretty hopeless? Just wait.


In the Old Testament, sin is always covered by blood. At the time of the Jews being released from slavery in Egypt, God pronounced a sentence upon all the first born males in the house of Pharoah and in the houses of the Jews. The jews were told to slaughter an unmblemished lamb and spread the blood over their door post and the angel of death would pass over their home and would spare the Hebrew children. Later in the Old Testament, God sets up a sacrificial system where lambs, bulls, goats and grain and drink are offered at the altar of the Lord. Sounds kind of gross doesn't it? But all the Hebrews had was their livestock and their crops. God was only commanding them to offer their best as a sign that they were sorry for their sins and that they would again follow His laws. When God saw the blood of their sacrifice, He saw His people giving Him their lives and He forgave them. There can be no forgiveness without the shedding of blood.

The reason we don't go around sacrificing animals like the ancient Hebrews is because God abolished the old sacrificial system and gave us the one sacrifice who's blood will always cover our sins and bring us back to God. One of the most confusing things about our faith is the idea that Jesus is both human and divine at the same time. It's hard to understand but God shows us that it is necessary. If God were to be able to relate to our sin and understand our hurts and our hopes, then He has to experience the brokeness of our human condition. God has to see and hear and experience our side of the story. The fact that Jesus was fully human means that Jesus experienced every pain, stress, problem and suffering we will ever go through. He rejoiced at weddings. He grieved over the loss of those around him. He felt depressed, rejected, despised and even struggled with who He was. What has happened to us has happened to him with just one exception. Jesus never sinned. He was tempted, but never gave in. It was the God part of him that made that possible.

Since Jesus is also fully God, He can't sin because He is perfect in every way we can't be. He can go to God and interced for us even though we are way less than perfect. God is pure and cannot be in the presence of sin so we cannot go to him on our own. But Jesus died on the cross and the blood he shed is the only sacrifice ever needed to bring us to God. When God sees us, he sees Jesus' blood and and his wrath passes us over and he spares us the punishment we deserve. In fact, He is so moved by us accepting Jesus' sacrifice that he brings us forever into His presence where we can experience His love and forgiveness. Think of sin as the grand canyon. We are on one side and God is on the other. We simply cannot get to him on our own. But Jesus builds the bridge so we can come to God at any point during our lives. We accept what Jesus did, believe in it and God comes to us. Pretty simple.

What does this have to do with my living out my fantasy by watching my kids play ball? I am getting the emotional boost I need by experiencing joy through the actions of my kids. I live vicariously through them. In the same way we live out the love, forgiveness and healing that God offfers not because we know how to get to God. We do it because it is lived vicariously through Jesus Christ. Our kids make us feel what we can't feel on our own and Jesus allows us to feel what we could never feel on our own. He brings us love, forgiveness and eternal life. Not just eternal in time, but eternal quality. He offers us the best of the best. I'll remember that when I try to experience life through someone else. The only one I need to live through is Jesus Christ.