Irrational Fear

Today has been a really tough day. It has been a day of paralyzing, numbing (pardon the pun) and fear as pre-dental appointment anxiety has hit me like tsunami of death with waves of crushing turmoil. I have to see the dentist at 2:00 p.m. and I am scared out of my wits. I've been to the dentist before, not many times, but I recently had a root canal and a crown. I have a new dentist this time, and she assures me that she is especially accommodating to cowards like me.

Now...I am not a person prone to be nervous around doctors. As many of you know, I've had gall bladder, appendix, hernia, gastric bi-pass and rotator cuff surgery. I've gone under the knife and never lost a moments sleep. I think it's because during surgery, you get to sleep and don't have to hear the cutting, grinding and drilling that goes on at the dentist. With regular general surgery you cannot really fear what you don't experience or remember. For many, the worst part of pre-surgical anxiety is getting an IV beforehand. After that, it's mostly down hill from there. The worst part of surgery happens when you wake up and that usually doesn't involve fear...it involves pain.

But the dentist is a different ball game altogether. You may get numb, but you will still experience all the poking, pushing, sucking and grinding that goes on. You will smell the smoke coming from your own teeth as friction usually leads to fire. You will fight that suction tube as you attempt to hang on to what dignity you have left. And you will certainly find out that you are going to have to come back for more fillings, crowns and bridge work. Dentists are like everybody else...they work to get paid. And the way they get paid is to keep you coming back. Now, I am not saying that dentists go around performing unecessary procedures for personal enrichment, but teeth wear down and maintenance is never fully complete. And, I love contributing to someone's BMW payment and luxury vacation expense fund.

I think that my fear, even though it's real, is also completely irrational. The Bible says that perfect love casts out all fear, but whoever wrote that probably wasn't staring a triple root canal in the face. Fear is always irrational, but it always has a grain of truth at its core. Many fear flying because they have seen stories about planes crashing into buildings and sides of mountains or into oceans. But if you study the numbers, no form of safer travel exists. People fear heights from the safety of an enclosed building, but have seen stories of people's parachutes not opening and of people slipping while attempting to cliff dive. Some people fear elevators because they have seen movies like "Speed" and "Devil" and they are terrified of being stuck in a dark, small crowded space with no air and no inkling of when the elevator brake will give out, sending them plummeting to their death. As much as we know it is irrational, it seems more than real to us.

So how do we deal with fear? How do we keep from hiding behind our couch with our doors locked and our shades drawn because so many things in this world frighten us? Many experts say you must face your fears, but they are not the ones that have to ride in the cable car over the 10,000 foot canyon. The way we should deal with fear is through faith and prayer. First, we pray for strength to get through what is scaring us. When we pray, we cannot hide from our true selves. Nobody is capable of lying while praying. When we pray, we admit our fears and weaknesses and are forced to trust in God for deliverance from them. This reminds us that we can never be in total control of our lives and circumstances. Control is an illusion and as much as we think we have a bead on things, we are at the mercy of the pilot, surgeon and elevator car cable. We are forced to let go and seek a higher power for help.

After we pray, we need to acknowledge our faith. When we trust God and believe that he has a good plan for our lives, it is easier to step out into the unknown. Sometimes things happen and that plan will at some point involve our death, but we must hang on to the hope that our faith gives us. I have resigned as manager of the universe and have decided to let God have the job. When I truly work at this, I feel a sense of calm confidence come upon me. It is rooted in the fact that God loves me and will put me in situations that He believes I need to be in. Even if those situations involve fear, hard choices or even tragedy...God assures us that he will walk through it with us. He will give us the strength we need and the guidance to choose best for the future.

Faith and prayer. That's easy for me to say you think...but this afternoon as I am reclined in the chair of torture, I will be putting these things into practice.