Is Independence a Virtue?

This is the beginning of a series of 8 refelctions of the beatitudes from Jesus' teachings from the sermon on the mount in Matthew 5.

"God blesses those who are poor and recognize their need for him, For the Kingdom of God is theirs."
  
Those who wait on Jesus are blessed.

I remember the day I got my drivers licesnse.  For a sixteen year-old this was an incredible rite of passage.  I felt an incredible sense of independence.  I could go where I wanted, when I wanted and for as long as I wanted.  There would be no more begging for rides or hoofing it to where I needed to go.  I was finally becdoming a man with the responsibility and independence to make my own decisions and be in control of my own life.  To say I was excited would have been the understatement of the century.

That excitement lasted about 10 minutes when my father, Mr. subtle in these kinds of matters, dropped a nuclear bomb on me which totally destroyed the moment.  To drive and experience the independence of the open road, I would need to pay for my own gas and contribute quarterly to my own insurance.  The worst part was that I would have to share our second car with both my mother and my 17 year-old brother.  The wind sort of came out of my sails.  I did the math.  It would take almost every dime from my job at the record store to cover the gas and insurance nut.  There would be little left over for fun and games.

I wasn't nearly as independent as I thought I was.  If I wanted to use the car, I actually had to fill out a voucher with the date, time and reason for approval from my parents.  And this is taking into account that I was third on the list.  But still, this was the most independent I had ever felt in my entire life.  I was worth the crap I would have to go through.  I immediately began making plans for a second job so I could save up money for my own car.

Now, let's move forward in time some 30 years.  About two years ago my elderly 86 year-old father in law came with us to live.  He had just lost his wife of 65 years to heart disease and he himself suffered from heart disease and kidney failure.  Since he was wheel chair bound and severely limited in his mobility, we built an in -law appartment onto our house with a ramp to the drive way and a handicap sitting shower so he could have as much independence as possible.  We got him a scooter chair so he could zip up the drive way and sidewalks and attend to the garden boxes we set up for him in the backyard.

At 86 years-old, Barney was an independent spirit who didn't like the restrtictions age and health had placed upon him and he wanted to still do things his own way.  Several hospital stays, broken bones and bruises, got him to understand that his own limitations put restrictions on his independence.  When Barney was living in his hometown of New Castle, he knew everybody, was a member of 3-4 social clubs, ate breakfast with the gang down at the city diner and pretty much did what he wanted.  The change in his life style from New Castle to Erie was completely opposite and threw him into a great depression.  He had never had to depend on anybody but himself for anything and now even my two teenage sons were more independent.

Day by day, Barney's independence took more hits.  Soon he was not able to dress or bathe himself.  He also lost the ability to help himself use the bathroom.  It got to the point where it became simply too much for Anne and I to handle, so Barney became a resident at a local Presbyterian run nursing home.  He adjusted quickly and lived their happily for about 18 month until his recent death.

Look...independence is the most sought after aspect of human life.  The toddler wants out of the playpen, the school kid wants a later curfew, and every teenager dreams of driving their dream car.  Young adults want to choose their own spouse or significant other.  Middle aged people want more power and autonomy at work.  It goes on and on and on.  Independence is the most sought after value in our society today.  Nobody wants to be dependent on others.

One reason for this is our dreadful lack of patience.  We want what we want now and are unwilling to let natural circumstances play out.   We want the independence even to make bad and destructive decisions for our lives.  I mean it is our life to mess up...isn't it.  Most people would rather sink their own ship than ride as crew on someone elses.  We have become terrible in our culture of balancing independence and responsibility.  Independence we want....responsibility we would rather avoid.

But I have learned a valuable lesson that to truly experience independence you have to be good at giving in to dependence on others.  I like to make my own decisions, but I usually don't until I discuss them with Anne.  I would love to drive a mustang, but have settled for a Dodge Caravan because it is practical.  I would like to make independent decision about money buying comic books, music and stuff for my iphone and Kindle Fire.  But I have two kids who depend on me for support.

Independence and dependence are completely woven together.  You can't achieve one without paying mind to the other.  This is why the first real teaching Jesus gave from the mount, and the first of the 8 beatitudes is about independence and dependence and how we live with these two things in balance.
Maybe the beatitude should read, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, who realize that the only true independence comes from being dependent on God, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."

But make no mistake this beatitude is not a blessing upon just poor people as many in the social gospel movement would have us think.  Jesus definitely had a soft spot for those who were destitute, but mainly because they were in a better position to receive the gospel at face value.  They had nothing better in which to place their hope and trust.  They knew they needed God...period.  In our world today many things promise independence.  Whether it is diets, excercise programs, get rich quick schemes, self- help programs or on-line dating services, or even facebook.  Nothing can fill the hole in our lives but God.

Independence is probably the most sought after quality in life today.  Young children want freedom from parents to play and watch television as long as they want.  Teenagers want the independence to drive and go where and when they want.  Middle-agers want frreedom and independence from their work and financial and family obligations.  The elderly want to live free of interference from their children and other caregivers.  Everybody wants to be independent.

The problem with too much independence is that it has a way of getting us in trouble.  We are broken human beings with broken wills and broken lives.  So when we push for more and more independence we risk going on a journey that can take us even further from God.

Listen to the Apostle Paul, He Knew it well:
                      "The trouble is with me, for I am a slave to sin.  I don't really
                       understand myself, for I want what  is right, but I don't do it.  Instead,
                       I do what I hate...So I am not the one who is doing wrong it
                       is sin that lives inside me...And I know that nothing good lives
                       within me, that is in my sinful nature.  I want to do what is right,
                       but I can't.  I want to do what is good, but I don't.  I don't want to
                       do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.  But if I do what I don't
                       want to do, I am not really the one who is doing wrong;  It is
                       sin living in me that does it...I have discovered this principle of life
                       when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong.
                       I love God's law with all my heart.  But there is another power
                       at work in my mind.  This power makes me a slave to the sin
                      that is still within me.  Oh what a miserable person I am!  Who
                       will free me from this life that is dominated by death and sin?
                       Thank God, the answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.  So you see
                       how it is: in my mind I really want to obey God's law, but in my
                       sinful nature, I am a slave to sin."

                                                                             Romans 14 various verses
                                                                             (New Living Translation)

So Paul makes it clear that total independence is not necessarily a great thing for you and me.  Maybe a little is good, but entire independence in life is spiritually impracticle and will only end up making us miserable and will probably be our undoing.  The truth is that we thrive best when there is independence with accountability to God and others around us.  We rely on our routines, having the same people in our daily lives, doing similar work functions and otherwise limiting what we do and the chances we take.  To live a totally independent life would do exactly what Paul said:  it would turn us into slaves of sin.

In the first beatitude the blessing does not go to the independent it goes to those who are so poor in their spirit, that they have come to make dependence on God the most important thing in their lives.

For it is out of dependence on God that every other blessing is made available to us.  If we are not looking to God in our daily lives, how can He possibly bless what we are doing.  Dependence on God shows us how limited and fallible we can be because total independence makes us vulnerable to being selfish, greedy, needy, mean, spiteful, envious and other sinful attitudes.  We want what we want when we want it.  Pure independence gives us the mentality of small children.  Meeting our every whim becomes all that matters.

So what does dependence on God do to make our lives better and more meaningful:

1.  It takes the pressure off.  When we carry the load for ourselves and everyone around us we will be crushed.  We simply can't solve every problem, need and want of our own or those around us.  We have to resign as general managers of the universe and let God take over.  This is very tough for control freaks and type A personalities.  When we turn over our deepests needs and wants to God and pray over them daily and check them with the scriptures and with other Christians we trust, we will gain better perspective.  We will be able to focus on what we can control and let go of what we can't.  Independence and control are really the same thing.  We cannot simply have it all when we want it.  That would be a life of chaos.  Let God set your priorities.  When you spend enough time in prayer and reflection you will find that you will be led to the things that are most important for your life.  Not what you want, but what God wants for you.

2. Dependence on God keeps sin under control in our lives.  When everything is about us we are on a slippery slope.  There are not enough drugs, strip bars, cash money, expensive clothes, cars and houses to satisfy us.  But our total independence will have us off chasing things that will only end up being harmful to our lives.  I'm not saying we would all go that route, but the temptations would certainly call our name.  But when we are dependent on God we will work to please God.  We will honor our committments, vows and responsibilities because we know we answer to a higher being.

3. Dependence on God keeps us aware of what is good and bad and what is right and what is wrong.  With God things are pretty black and white.  It is when we try to interpret God's Word or water it down that things get complicated.  People who depend on God are tied to His Word and look to it for most of the answers to life.  It's not a rule book.  It is the book of life.  It shows us how to avoid many of the pitfalls of people that have come before us.  From the tower of Babel, to the cross, to the second coming, God's Word makes it clear that God is in control of our destiny.  The destiny is there...we just need to work with God to find it.  There is a life mate, life work, honest friendships and secure living made available to all of us.  We just have to go God's way until he leads us to it.  This takes wisdom and patience and we will not master those blessings overnight.

A life of unfettered independence will lead us to disaster, but a life of total dependence on God will lead us to the wholeness of life we seek so badly.  Let's all agree to give it a better chance.