More and more, I get put off by organizations claiming that they want to bring awareness to the issue of mental illness. The latest round is a church-related group organizing a process to identify and get help for those in their congregations who might be dealing with a mental illness. The literature they put out claims that since most people with mental illness go undiagnosed and untreated, the group wishes to create a way to get people to help. While their intentions are definitely noble and pure, what they are suggesting is dangerous.
It is always problematic when those who are not professionally trained or liscensed, try to ascribe certain behavior as being one mental illness or another. They point out that some of these aberrant behaviors are often destructive, they damage family relationships, careers and in some cases leave the person with the bad behavior with no support system at all. That is why so many homeless people are mentally ill. In many cases they have worn out their welcome with families, businesses and churches. These church initiatives would try to educate and aid those dealing with mental illness and their support systems.
But how do we no the difference between behavior and illness? It could be argued that some people behave erratically, hatefully and dishonestly because they simply lack character. But others behave in ways they wish they didn't or can't control because of a mental illness. How can we tell the difference? We can't! I went for years living with bi-polar without even knowing it. I burned bridges, lost friends and isolated myself, but would have argued with anyone who would have said I was mentally ill.
Mental illnesses are complicated and hard to diagnose because one simply cannot match a behavior to an illness. I am a bi-polar schizophrenic. I am prone to deep periods of depression where I feel helpless, hopeless and without purpose. I have made many mistakes in behavior because my illness had morphed into something completely different. This took over eight years with the same psychiatrists and therapists to diagnose. I have done things, seen things and heard things that were totally detached from the reality I was living. It is called psychosis.
But unlike a tumor, most mental illnesses cannot be detected in medical tests. X-rays, mri, and deep brain scans do not show depression or anxiety disorder. These are diseases of the brain that deal with self-identity, perception and a lack of proper chemical functioning. They are diseases that require scientific medical treatment. One cannot think their way back to health. Sometimes it takes a cocktail of different medications to treat symptoms. That cocktail or combination might differ for people with the same symptoms. I've been on 5 different anti-depressants over the time I've been treated. I have found one that works the best and I use it. My medications and symptomology have also changed over time because my illness has changed and morphed. Some symptoms that were problematic are gone, but there are also new ones that have developed.
What I get pissed off about is people with no knowledge or experience tossing around descriptions of people or characterizing people as being psychotic, sociopathic, schizo, depressed or in out of control. These are code words we use to describe people we think are dangerous, unbalanced or strange to us. But usually it is just quirky behavior or parts of a persons psyche we do not know or understand. I have had family members call me a "head case. I have known people who were called delusional just because they saw an issue differently. I have heard people describe others as being clinically depressed, when they don't know the difference between sadness and true depression.
As a culture we have made people who experience symptoms of depression, anxiety disorder, and schizophrenia feel like lepers. The fact that a church task force has been formed means we want to separate those people into a different category than what we think is normal. It is a scarlet letter that most people do not want to be labeled with, so they keep their illness to themselves and don't go for help. Mentally ill persons have the best chance for healing when those closest to them come around them with love and support. I don't know how many people I have helped get to therapy or treatment only because I had a relationship with them and there was a high degree of trust.
Institutions cannot build this type of trust with individuals. They may think they can because they offer spiritual solutions to other aspects of life effectively, but they can't offer salvation when the problem is not sin. People are simply not going to discuss or admit to symptoms they have or illnesses they are dealing with a committee. This is why the mentally ill are no longer institutionalized. The best results come from the support of a very small, close circle of friends and family. Once you try to institutionalize something by creating a process or program, everybody will stop talking. No one will want to be labeled. No one will want their issues exposed to people not actively involved in their lives. Since no one will respond to institutional initiatives or programs, the people suffering will simply be driven further underground to deal with their illness in pain and isolation. What we should be doing is helping people open up to the most trusted people in their lives. I call them small circles of support. In my circle are my wife, three friends, one therapist and one psychiatrist. Although I have been open with others about my illness, these are the people I go to when I feel things slipping or changing with my mental health. It took eight years for this circle to develop in a way that has brought health to my life better and made things easier for me.
For me, it all comes down to shame. There is an almost inseparable bond between mental illness and shame. Whether it is the shame of the family and friends who enable the ill to cover things up, or the ill themselves who are too afraid of being scorned and labeled to come forward. We live in a culture of instant get to know yous. Things written on Facebook, tweeted or shown on you tube make it easy to make snap judgements about people and their behavior. These things then spread like virus and before you know it, the mentally ill are driven into silence.
Shame is a powerful thing. Shame makes us hide our weaknesses, faults and frailties. Many of us have gotten burned, by sharing or doing things that our mental illness impulsively gets us to do. It is easier to hide and be silent and just endure the pain and misery we feel. Think about the people in your circle who may be dealing with things like depression or anxiety and come along side of them with love and support. Hold them lovingly accountable for getting help and following any treatment plan a doctor may give them. It is up to us as individuals...it is our love that can help those around us. No institution, no matter how well meaning, can offer the care the mentally ill need to rediscover health. They can be a clearing house for resources, but should not be in position to make assessments about people and what their behavior and symptoms may mean.
There is no shame in being sick. For a long time women with breast cancer were afraid to talk openly about treatments that altered their anatomy and that is understandable. But for the most part, cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and other chronic illnesses are discussed openly and constructively. Mental illness is still stuck in shame. The shame of feeling less than sane...the shame of acting impulsively and erratically...the shame of having their character and morality questioned....the shame of being seen as weak and out of control.
The only way to get shame out of the picture is to encourage love and support at the most intimate levels of relationship. When wives can share with husbands and fathers with their children and friends with friends free of stigma and judgement, we are then doing the hard work of healing the mentally ill. As caring as churches, businesses and community groups wish to be, their only part is to help foster the sharing among the small circles. They cannot replace it with any program or process of awareness. Healing has to be local and not institutional.
Shame lives best in a world that is quick to label, judge and marginalize people who seem different or even behave in wierd ways. Shame leads to silence. Silence leads to isolation. Isolation leads tospiritual and emotional death. The church is in a uniqe position to inspire people to bring love to those in their lives who feel shame. But they can't program it into happening.
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